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The cool blonde jokes are from the book 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out now for 100s of coolest blonde jokes.

Another Blonde Police Applicant A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The captain says they can’t just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, “What’s 2+2?” “Ummm… 4!” the blonde says. Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: “What’s the square root of 100?” “Ummm… 10!” the blonde says. “Good!” the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history. “OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?” “Ummm… I don’t know,” she admits. “Well, you can go home and think about it,” he says, “and come back later and tell me what you’ve figured out.” He figures that’s the last he’ll see of her. The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. “Not only did I get the job,” the blonde says, “but I’ve already been assigned to a murder case!”

Blonde at Football Game A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: “Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don’t understand.” “What did you not understand ?” And the blonde says: “Well, at the beginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it’s just a quarter!”

Hot and Cold A blonde was shopping when she found a really striking stainless steel thermos. Fascinated, she picked it up examined it, and finally asked the clerk what it was. “It’s a thermos.” he said. “It keeps some things hot, and other things cold.” That was all she needed to hear, and she bought the thermos. The next day, her boss saw the thermos on her desk, as it really was rather striking. “What’s that?” her boss asked. “It’s a thermos.” she said. “It keeps some things hot, and other things cold.” “What have you got in it?” her boss queried after a moment. She happily answered, “I have hot coffee in it for a little later this morning, and really cold iced tea for this afternoon.”

Blonde Father A blonde guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blonde guy turned to his wife and angrily said, “All right, who’s the other father!?!”

Playing Trivial Pursuit A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science and Nature. Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”

Read 100s more great blonde jokes from the best joke book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Check it out, you will thank me…

Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don’t have to retrain them on Monday.

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.

Q: Why don’t blondes make good pharmacists? A: They can’t get the bottle into the typewriter.

Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone? A: Divorced.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, “Daaady!”

Q: How do you get rid of blondes? A: Form a circle, give each blonde a gun, and tell them they are a firing squad.

Q: Why did it take the blonde seven days to drive from St. Louis to Chicago? A: She kept seeing signs that read “stop clean bathroom”.

Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde’s been using the computer? A: There’s writing on the white-out.

Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They’re too hard to peel.

Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner? A: Reservations.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off. It’s on. It’s off.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q: Why don’t blondes like making KOOL-AID? A: Because they can’t fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW? A: Divorcee’

Read more funny dirty blonde jokes on http://www.dirtyblondejokes.net/.

Q. What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand? A. Cuatro Cinco.

Q. What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem? A. Attention K-Mart shoppers.

Q. What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? A. Roberto.

Q. A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on? A. A Prison Break.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Iranian? A: Oil of Ol’e.

Q. What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower? A. A miracle.

Q. What is the greatest Mexican invention? A. A solar powered flash light.

Q: What’s the difference between a Jewish girl and a Mexican girl? A: The Mexican girl has real orgasms and fake jewelry!

Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A: Juan on Juan.

Q. Why are Mexicans so short? A. They all live in basement apartments.

Q. How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Doesn’t matter, they’re to short to reach the socket.

Q: What’s the difference between a white and a Mexican? A: A shower.

Q. What are the first 3 words in every Mexican cookbook? A. Steal a chicken.

Q: How do you find the richest person in Mexico? A: Roll a quarter down the street!

Q. Why don’t Mexicans BBQ? A. The beans fall through the little holes.

Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have a NAVY? A: Because cardboard don’t float.

Q: How do you start a Mexican parade? A: You throw a penny in the road.

Q: Did you hear about the two car pile-up in the Wal-Mart parking lot? A: 50 Mexicans died.

Q: Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? A: Because their dads built it and their mom clean it.

Q: What do you call a Mexican quarterback? A: El Paso.

Check out those great joke books for more ethnic jokes.

Las Vegas has a very well publicized history of famous arrests and note worthy crimes. Some of this has made Las Vegas what it is today. Although, some of the stories seem so far fetched that it is hard to believe they are real. A few of the more unbelievable bail bonds in Las Vegas stories of 2010 include a doctor arrested for masturbating in a elevator, a gaming tycoon and a former bail bondsman running sheriff.

Tim Deam, who was released from jail after serving time for conspiracy to commit a crime and battery with substantial bodily harm, is now running for sheriff of Clark County. Clark County jail is the same place the former Las Vegas bail bondsman was held after pleading guilty in an incident relating to the plot to harm his former “Dirty Deeds bail bonds.”

Often people are arrested for lewd acts in Las Vegas. Infrequently are those arrested medical doctors doing their residency for psychiatry. Dr. Steven C. Wein was arrested in 2010 for allegedly masturbating in a Monte Carlo elevator while riding with three female college students. After being charged with misdemeanor open and gross lewdness, he was released on a $1,000 bond. He was subsequently arrested in Yuma, Ariz. with hand written instructions of how to commit to arson. The court fearing Dr. Wein intended to intimidate the witnesses, has since his rescinded his bond and he is now being held without bail in Las Vegas.

Australian Daniel Tzvetkoff, was arrested in Las Vegas in early 2010 in connection with his now defunct online gambling payment processing business. Many speculated the man who grew Intabill into a multimillion dollar company would be denied bail due to his foreign citizenship and significant financial resources. He was granted bail by a Las Vegas district court, only to have a New York district court say he must remain in jail during the trial which is expected to last two years.

No matter what, bail bonds in Las Vegas always seem to generate a buzz. The nature of those that attracted to Sin City make for some outlandish events and head scratching news.

Please visit Sandra Ryder’s website to learn about more wild arrests and bail bonds in Las Vegas stories.

Barney Miller (1975-1982): A precursor to NYC workplace shows like ‘The Job’ and ‘Rescue Me,’ ‘Barney’ starred Hal Linden as a police captain who shepherded a lineup of quirky suspects through the precinct and mentored his detectives, from grumpy Fish (Abe Vigoda — still alive!) to aspiring novelist Harris (Ron Glass).

The Brady Bunch (1969-1974): Are the Bradys the dorkiest or the grooviest family to reside in primetime? We’ll go with the latter, as there’s no denying the endearing cheesiness and pop culture impact of the blended brood, who rocked the largest wardrobe of bell bottoms ever amassed.

30 Rock (2006-present): We already knew Tina Fey was a brilliant comedy writer, and this ‘Saturday Night Live’ spoof also proves what a master of deadpan Alec Baldwin is. But it takes a true classic to mine with such deftness the humor of Kenneth the Page and wild comedian Tracy Morgan.

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South Park (1997-present): If you’ve never been offended by a pop culture-skewering episode of this delightfully subversive cartoon, you haven’t been paying enough attention. Tackling everything from Scientology and Catholicism to Christmas poo, the filthiest grade schoolers in TV history have also proved to be the most astute.

The Bob Newhart Show (1972-1978): In the sitcom that introduced laid-back, sarcastic Bob Newhart, he played a mild-mannered shrink who was the perfect foil for his sassy wife, neighbor Howard (whose “Hi Bob!” greeting led to a drinking game) and prickly patient Carlin.

The Honeymooners (1955-1956): Before there was a ‘King of Queens,’ Jackie Gleason ruled Brooklyn as bus driver Ralph, whose feisty, hotter-than-him wife Alice kept the loud mouth in line. Despite his scheming, Ralph was a softie, and became one of TV’s first working class heroes.

Roseanne (1988-1997): This picture of a working-class family was loving but not mushy, and didn’t gloss over mundane worries like paying the mortgage, working a dead-end job and dealing with sassy kids. In fact, Roseanne mined them for comedy gold, and did so without looking or sounding like the typical sitcom mom.

The Simpsons (1989-present): The longest-running comedy on TV holds that record for a reason — it is, quite simply, the best sitcom in history. The animated classic has spent 19 seasons mocking and celebrating pop culture, and giving us TV’s most beloved family and most delightfully ornery 10-year-old, Bartholomew J. Simpson.

Hank Evans thanks you for taking the time to read this article. And, if you found it interesting, you are invited to visit Hank Evans at Watch NCIS Episodes Online and Watch Royal Pains Episodes Online.

Newhart (1982-1990): Author Dick (Bob Newhart) and wife Joanna left city life behind when they bought Vermont’s Stratford Inn, but their new bucolic setting was hardly boring, thanks to a lineup of small-town loonies, including daffy caretaker George and hillbilly handyman Larry, his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl.

The Jeffersons (1975-1985): Though Archie Bunker never moved on up to a dee-luxe apartment in the sky, George Jefferson was, in every other way, the black Bunker — from his bigoted philosophies and sweet, sympathetic wife Weezie to his rebellious child and his ownership of the liquor-laden hangout Charlie’s Bar, with his frienemy Willis.

Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006): High-IQ Malcolm often made snarky asides to viewers about his wacky family’s antics. But the middle-class family was more normal than they or their neighbors though. And Malcolm, despite feeling isolated, was a true Wilkinson at heart.

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Scrubs (2001-present): In this hospital comedy with healthy doses of drama, narrator J.D. shares his work, love and pop-culture obsessions with best pal Turk, sometime-girlfriend Elliott and wisecracking mentor Dr. Cox — whose insistence on calling J.D. by girls’ names is just one of the show’s long-running bits of lunacy.

Arrested Development (2003-2006): Bluths, we hardly knew ye. Three seasons of dysfunctional family hilarity and banana-stand shenanigans weren’t nearly enough. The show gave us GOB, Buster and Michael Cera — and, at last, a forum for Jason Bateman to showcase his comedy chops.

The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961-1966): One of the first shows about show biz revolved around a variety series writer. That meant tons of comic storylines, which, combined with Van Dyke’s physical gags and Mary Tyler Moore’s sassy humor, inspired many a future sitcom.

Married With Children (1987-1997): It was the raunchy show that made a network (Fox). The Bundys, led by shoe-salesman dad Al and big-haired mom Peg, certainly were certainly ‘Not the Cosbys’ (the show’s original title), but they were one of TV’s funniest fams.

Happy Days (1974-1984): If not for ‘Happy Days,’ TV land wouldn’t have The Fonz, “jumping the shark,” ‘Laverne & Shirley’ or Jenny Piccolo. Okay, we forgive the show for that last one, but only because the retro sitcom was so filled with heart and humor that one little annoying character couldn’t bring it down. Aaaayy!

Hank Evans appreciates you taking the time to read this article. If you enjoyed it, you are invited to visit Hank Evans at Watch NCIS Online and Watch Royal Pains Online.

If you are someone who loves to watch comedy shows but hates having to pay for cable or satellite services monthly, take advantage of the internet and watch comedy TV shows, videos, and movies online. Yes, there are so many websites on the net that let you watch just about anything — comedy shows, TV shows, even movies; sometimes, even for free. However, you have to be cautious when searching for such sites because not every one of them is legal. You may get viruses into your system and malicious applications, which are often found in illegitimate sites. They can damage your system.

Watching comedy shows can be stress relieving. It can make you feel good about yourself and about everything else. In a way it can help you deal with life?s problems better.

One of the many benefits of watching comedy shows online is that you get to do it for free — and this is even more stress-relieving, don?t you think so? The mere idea of having a good laugh without having to pay so much is certainly worth the experience.

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When you find the right comedy shows to brighten up your day, you can expect to feel more relaxed; not only that, you can also experience an increase in your heart rate. This basically means that you will no longer have to engage in aerobic exercises or anything of the sort just to keep your blood pumping.

You must know of course that laughing also benefits the mental and spiritual well being of a person. Try watching hilarious shows after a stressful day at work and you?ll experience an overwhelming sense of lightness as if you?ve disposed an excess baggage you?ve been carrying the whole day. Laughing also lifts the spirits, thus making you see the good things in life.

Approaching life in a more relaxed way is one way of getting rid of all the stress that we encounter in our daily lives. One of the most powerful tools to your daily moods and emotional state is a good sense of humor.

Laughter benefits health by letting us get some rest. Feeling relaxed after having a good laugh is a natural sleeping pill because people tends to drift off peacefully after having a good laugh. Positive feelings caused by laughter crowd the worry right out of the brain.

So, really, just hook your computer, connect it to the internet and search for the best comedy TV shows online. Get your friends and family members to watch with you, too. It makes it more fun to have somebody to laugh with.

Hank Evans appreciates you taking the time to read this article. And, if you found it interesting, you can read more from Hank Evans at Watch NCIS Free and Watch Royal Pains Episodes Online.

So, everyone at work thinks you are hilarious! People at parties always flock to you so you can tell them a new joke. In school, you won the class clown trophy and you are totally proud of it. Terrific! Now you want to learn how to make money being a Comedian. Is it time to take your funniness to a new level?

Well, maybe! Many people are funny. There are lots of people that can make you laugh. There are some inherent challenges if there is a thought of a future in Comedy. But that does not mean you cannot earn a living as a comedian. People just flat out like to laugh. However, when they pay to see you make them laugh, it is a little different story. Consider this the next time you go to a Comedy Club. How many times have you walked out and thought you could have done better?

Trust that one bad joke or story, where no one even giggles, will seem like an eternity, so be prepared for that, or you may just run off of the stage, which would actually be pretty funny! Being loud and obnoxious is also not a particularly a good plan. Be yourself and if people like that, you should be off to a good start.

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Before you attempt to find a venue which will allow you to take the stage, you must have good material. Write about the things that make you laugh. Try not to think about ways to make others laugh. You will seldom entertain every patron with everything that you say. You are looking to entertain the majority. In an 8 minute set, strive to get 3 or 4 times when the audience applauds. This is a great test of your material.

With the mass appeal of viral marketing, it is pretty easy to record yourself and place it on one of the many sites that show videos. People are constantly searching for humorous items, so if you are funny, they will find you. If you have interesting opinions on current events or the crisis of the day, your viral audience will let you know.

Spend time developing your own style. There is only one Robin Williams or Richard Pryor, so become the only you. You may think that using profanity makes you funny. It DOES NOT! Funny is your interesting take on something. There will be no need for you to even try to get on stage if all you do is swear. I swear! See, that is funny!

When creating your material, try not to spend the entire time talking about drugs. You must be current and that concept is very eighty’s. It is all right to discuss politics and religion, but be careful. Remember, your goal is to get at least half of the audience to like you!!

People in a club are there to laugh and they want to laugh. So, if you have a nice personality you may get some laughs. When you win the audience over, you may even get sympathy laughs! Not likely what you are looking for, but a laugh is a laugh. Most importantly realize that you will need to become callous. People want your opinion and if it is funny, they will laugh. So, learn how to make money being a comedian, just plan on multiple failures and some major setbacks. Deal with those and who knows, maybe you will become the next big star!

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